So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.
(Source: laughingisbetter, via oswaldering)
Beyoncé sets fire to the media.
i heard that these guys are gonna play football at a beyonce concert
(Source: smilingemoticon, via 47thandbroadway)
I’m home alone.
Time to start my concert.
(Source: swiftsanatomy, via juliasegal)
future child: mom can you tell me a story
me: this is the story of a girl
future child: what
me: WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD
single most awkward moment of my young life was when i watched this
(Source: harryedwerd, via 47thandbroadway)
*goes to youtube*
(Source: danbutt, via itsbriannahstfu)
have you ever seen someone so attractive it made you mad
(Source: internetmessiah, via yourlittleharmonicaishammered)