So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.
I'm home alone.
Time to start my concert.
- future child: mom can you tell me a story
- me: sure
- me: this is the story of a girl
- future child: what
- me: WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD
*goes to youtube*
You don’t know true heartbreak until one side of your headphones randomly quit working.